Low level TLS handshake?

I'd like to intercept ALPN selection and select the one I want instead of the first common one between the client and the server.

Code:

// we have some ALPN protocols and certificates for TLS/SSL
tlsConfig := &tls.Config {
    Certificates: serverCertificates,
    NextProtos  : serverALPN,
}
// a simple TCP server
server, err := net.Listen("tcp", serverHost+":"+serverPort) 
...
for {
    // we accept a connection
    conn, err := ln.Accept()
    ...
    // wrap it in TLS
    tlsConn := tls.Server(conn, &tlsConfig)
    // and pass it to the handler
    go handleConnection(tlsConn)
}

So far we didn't do any TLS handshaking, so the connection is idle, pure. In func handleConnection(conn *tls.Conn) we would err := conn.Handshake() to perform the handshaking automatically for us, but how to do it manually? I didn't seem to find any info on that in tls module documentation. I'd like to do something like this:

// we communicate with client until he's told us all the ALPNs they support
state := conn.HandshakeUntilALPN()
// we got the list, now we use some algorithm to choose the ALPN
ALPN := myALPNAlgorithm(state.listOfALPNsFromClient)
// after that we tell the client which algo we've chosen
conn.SendALPN(ALPN)
// and we continue the handshake
conn.ContinueHandshake()
...

Of course it's silly pseudo-pseudo code, but hopefully you get the idea

Ideally, I'd like to know that for both the Server and the Client, if it's possible at all.

the answer is in the crypto library:
https://pkg.go.dev/crypto/tls

these papers might be useful:

https://developpaper.com/the-principle-of-https-and-golang-specifies-the-https-cipher-suite/

and

https://eli.thegreenplace.net/2021/go-https-servers-with-tls/

You will need to build your own server and client. TLSlistenandserve is an abstraction. you will have to build your own listenandserve.